In life, you should always do your best to be kind, treat others with authentic respect. Saying this, however, it would be naive of you to believe that your good intentions for another person would always yield their good intentions for you in return. While you grasp and accept this realistic notion in life, how do you remain kind to others though there's always a risk of them not being authentically kind to you in return?

Me and beautiful Nat.

Cheers!!

So does this mean to avoid being disrespected in any way, you should stop being kind, or start doubting and judging everyone who comes into your space? Absolutely not! Do not stop being kind regardless of other people's inability to remain kind. You should never allow anyone's negative behavior to alter the goodness you possess within. Just realize that whoever is intentionally inflicting pain on others, being manipulative or vindictive—at whatever caliber—is clearly someone who has much to learn about life.

Is that me and Nat, again???

Sometimes you can do your best and have the best intentions, yet things don't turn out kindly because there may have been others involved who didn't have the same good intentions, or win-win mentality. This is why sometimes, even the darkest of situation can arise from seemingly good people—people who just haven't yet matured in various areas in their lives.

When you find someone acting disrespectful to you, even after you've been kind to them, you can't help but feel disappointed. Don't feel bad for too long—give yourself some credit—realize that you've contributed to that person's life lessons while they were making their mistakes with you. With this realization, instead of staying disappointed, you could perhaps make a decision to do your best to better the situation for yourself and the other person, but also, know when to walk away—especially if your display of kindness continues to be taken for granted.

Why is everyone looking at a different camera?

Realize that when you've put in your best efforts to make things right with another person, and you still don't see a satisfactory progress or result from them in return, you can move on from that situation with no regrets. That person's lessons and mistakes may just have to continue somewhere else, perhaps with someone else—a place where you no longer need to be. So remember, do your best to help where you can, but know when to walk away.

How you think or act, goes to show who you are, hence, how others think or act, goes to show who they are. So you see, there is no need to beat yourself up when you've put in your best efforts to do things right. You can't completely control what others want to think, say or do, however, you can completely control what you want to think, say or do. So when you're dealing with someone, always ask yourself if your own intentions are good. Check in to make sure your intentions always support a win-win situation—in other words, make sure what you want to say or do will benefit both you and the other person. If your intentions are to benefit only you alone, you are not doing your best! In this case, you need to reevaluate your thoughts—give yourself a chance to do better.

Us girls with our buddy Kelly.

Me and Kel!

Some people display acts of kindness simply to deceive or to gain for selfish purposes. This is not authentic kindness—this is someone acting kind with hopes that they would not only look good, but also get what they want in the process, regardless of what the outcome will be for others. This is wrong. Life's karma does not take this kind of behavior lightly. If you don't want something done to you, don't do it to others. Clichés are what they are because of the truth they possess. Remember this one: "Treat others the way you want to be treated." This phrase is not one to be ignored, trust me.

If you find yourself displaying unauthentic kindness, be honest with yourself and call it like it is. When you call yourself on something, you're giving yourself a chance to reevaluate your thoughts and do better. It doesn't matter how angry, sad or revengeful you might be feeling at a given moment—those are just bad excuses not to do the right thing. There's always time to stop and ask yourself the right questions such as, "What can I do right now, at this moment, to turn this situation around for me, and the other person?" To ask yourself this kind of question is not an easy thing to do...you have to be strong, and not let your ego get in the way. This means you must refrain from finding fault or judging the situation as good, bad, right, or wrong. Your only responsibility as a solid, tactful individual is to keep things in their rightful place, a place where ego does not belong. So when you stop to ask yourself questions on how you can make things right, you can also take that moment to breathe deeply, step aside, and wait—be patient.

Yah! My dessert is here!

Got cream?

The answer to your question may arrive immediately or in minutes—but, most times, it can take hours or maybe days. Saying this, however, you may not even realize you've already started responding to your own question. You see, while you think you're still waiting for an answer to your question to put things in their rightful place, just the mere fact of having that question in your mind, you've already started the process of making things right. The question has already caused you to reassess your own thoughts and actions. You may find you didn't make that unnecessary angry phone call you were going to make; you didn't say something that will later make you feel like an idiot; or you didn't add more fuel to the fire to make matters worse. This, in itself, is you acting in response to your own question, setting yourself on track to making things right!

All the pretty maids in a row.

Regardless of any "bad experiences" you may have had in the past, being kind to people who did not return your kindness, it would be a shame if you allowed those people to effect the goodness you have in you to share. Perhaps at one point, against all odds, you may have even kept your heart and mind wide open to being kind, and was terribly hurt from doing so. That is all right...it doesn't mean you should stop being kind or allow the experience to hold you back from being even kinder. Remember, your so-called bad experiences are the priceless life lessons that have made you wiser and stronger. Because of those experiences, this time around, you can be even kinder, and you can do it not only with your heart and mind wide open, but also do it with your eyes wide open! You might ask, "Why should I be kind if she doesn't want to be kind to me?" Well, the answer is not for you to be unkind in return. Instead, you can tactfully take your kindness somewhere else. When your act of kindness is being abused in anyway, it becomes clear to you that you can take your kindness somewhere else, somewhere where it'll be appreciated.

Thank you for inspiring me to write again!

Always remember, you must first give others the benefit of the doubt, and show them authentic kindness before you can expect the same in return. Also, when you are authentically kind to a person, and they still manage to show you some form of disrespect, you just saved yourself a lot of time and energy knowing exactly who you want to make more time for, and who you don't. Simply put, you can tell a lot about a person just by the way they choose to return your kindness. If being authentically kind can give you this type of insight and certainty, why would you ever want to stop being kind? Besides, to be authentically kind to someone is truly a gift that nourishes your own soul. There is no need to abuse this precious gift, or allow it to be abused.

Authentic kindness is truly divinity in its purest form. Treasure it!